The difference between a broken relationship with yourself and a broken relationship with others is that you cannot get away from yourself! Obvious? In our world today we have many ways to distract ourselves from ourselves. Drugs, alcohol, food, TV, internet, facebook etc….. Do we not want to work on the relationship with ourselves or do we wish we could move on to be someone else?
I truly did not want to be me anymore. I was sick and tired of being tired, overweight and unhappy. I realized that you can move on to be someone else, but it means working on the relationship with yourself first. Resolving your issues, mending yourself and moving on to who you were meant to be and want to be.
List making is a useful tool. List making goes along with journaling. The most important thing I am doing right now to mend the relationship with myself is journaling (almost everyday), then reflecting back on past journaling and list making by rereading my entries throughout the week. To start to work on the relationship with yourself, get out your pen and paper. I chose a new “cool looking” journal ($5 at Target is a great investment in myself) and my favorite writing pen.
Next, I made a list of my issues and enlisted others to help me. As a life coach, I am trained to focus on the future instead of the past. But in looking at my issues, I had some past items to clean up. I made an appointment with a counselor and I brought my list of what I needed to work on. I also needed to look at the relationships in my life. Some were great and life-affirming, others were draining and abusive. Some of them I had to mend, some I had to let go. What issues are on your “To Resolve” list?
On to another, second list. A list of the things I already know that help me get through the day and stay focused. My list included: doing a load of laundry every day, packing my lunch, working out and getting to bed by 10pm.
The third list I made was of destressors. Some of mine were: take a bubble bath, get my nails done, play with my toddler without thinking about all the house work I have to do. What is on your list to mend and love yourself?
Return to being ourselves
Being someone else (or becoming who we used to be) takes practice. It is a new routine. Give yourself credit for making the move to work on you and mend the relationship with yourself.