Life is full of challenges. Work, relationships, and parenting constantly have us battling on one front or another. Often we have a plan, goal or desired outcome of the issue we are dealing with at the moment. Society tells us that if we want to be successful in a certain area we should never ever give up, and should forge ahead regardless of the resistance or barriers we encounter.

Bigger isn’t always better

While it may sound counter intuitive, acceptance can be used as a tactic to help us reach our goals. Often when we are pursuing a goal we encounter resistance. Our instinct when this happens is to work harder, raise our voice, increase our anger or essentially “get a bigger hammer”.

Sometimes this works, however most often it does not and ultimately we end up frustrated and off track. What happens is we become so focused on our goal and specifically the resistance in front of us at the moment, that we totally miss a better path. Instead of instinctually reaching for the metaphoric larger hammer, reach for acceptance instead.

Acceptance, when deployed allows us to stop, step back, evaluate the landscape, and accept what is real. While some may say the act of acceptance is weak and is similar to giving up, it actually is quite strong and more important very tactical. Once we make this decision our mind is now clear and can focus on finding a new strategy that still propels us toward our goal.

Respect the resistance

Football is a good analogy for life. The offense’s goal is to score. The defense’s goal is to keep them from scoring. If the offensive game plan is to run the ball, and after two quarters they have gained very few yards due to the ability of the defense to stop the run it doesn’t make sense to keep running the ball, or to “get a bigger hammer” and  start running the ball harder.

Instead, accept the fact that the defense is stopping you. Accept the fact that you can’t run against them. Evaluate the situation, and find a different tactic to move the ball and ultimately achieve the goal of scoring.

You will face challenges in all aspects of your life. Resistance by default will always cause us to rethink our goals. Instead of subscribing to this thought process, accept what is holding you back, evaluate the resistance, create a new strategy, and forge ahead. Game on!!!