NOTE: This blog was originally published in March of 2011.

For most of my life, I’ve had a handful of good friends. They say quality is better than quantity. But, in times like now, where I’m back-packing from one city to the next, I’d wish I had more than a handful of close girlfriends. It gets lonely being in one city and having your friends in the next.

The 20s funk

Distance does make the heart grow fonder, but in days of recent past, I find it just an excuse not to call. Now, when time is subtle and calm, there are no lingering emails or phone calls asking how you are doing. Are we falling into the 20s funk that I’ve so recently learned of?

I am not on the same page with any of my friends. Pretty much all of my friends are married or starting a family of their own. These simplistic differences are events that, as young friends, we looked forward to and enjoyed at the moment they took place. But now – when there is no new friend getting engaged or a common ground of college, job search or learning the ropes of motherhood – how am I supposed to maintain friendships or strengthen friendships?

Is it worth the effort?

As tough as it is to maintain friendships, it’s up to you to determine the worth of the friendships you have. Is it worth it to deal with the change? And yes, it very much is worth it. What once may have been effortless now requires work. The positive side: the work you have to do is paid in full whenever you do manage to get together.

My friends and I may all be at different points in life, but we still manage to get together. When we do sit down over dinner or for a birthday, it’s like nothing has changed at all. I can look to them for advice in the situation I am in now. Maybe that’s selfish, because what are they gaining? Well, besides me – and yes, I am pretty awesome.

Trust in the future

Difficulty and change does not equal the means for an end. It’s merely another chapter in your friendship story. Sometimes it’s worth taking the effort to plan a get together, other times not. Don’t get down on yourself for being  where you are in life. Nobody’s perfect, the world does not revolve around you, and those that are meant to be in your life will be.

“The most beautiful discovery that true friends can make is that they can grow separately without growing apart” ~ Elizabeth Foley. My advice to you, advice that I will follow myself, is to be the friend that you wish to have. As hard as it may be, just trust. Trust in the friendship. Trust in the future. What is meant to be, will be.