Note: This blog originally published in January 2012.

Staying over-busy is the #1 intimacy killer in today’s U.S. society (with our obsession with technology running a close second). Women are often so busy getting tasks accomplished that taking time to build close relational connections falls to the bottom of their very long to-do lists or off the page entirely.

Many of us equate intimacy with sex. Out of curiosity I googled the definition of intimacy: close familiarity or friendship: closeness. A private cozy atmosphere. Most people require a certain level of intimacy to have sex, but that’s another story.

Intimacy requires time and tending

Even single people can choose to generate intimacy, or not … . We don’t need romantic partners to be intimate with others. We can be intimate with close friends and family members, but first we must take the time to listen to and respond to their concerns without blurting out our own thoughts and suggestions.

And we need to take the time to tend our close relationships, perhaps giving up some of our not-so-close relationships to obtain the time we need to create intimacy in our lives.

Over the years, my circles of friends and close family members have gotten smaller and smaller, so I can create the private cozy atmosphere that’s necessary for real intimacy.

I’m interested in hearing about your experiences with trying to create more intimacy in your life.

• Do you differentiate between “intimates” and other acquaintances?
• Does intimacy make you uncomfortable?
• Do you ever find yourself craving intimacy?
• What can you do to create more intimacy in your key relationships?