Note: This blog originally published in June 2011.
If you can’t decide… what career path to follow, what business to start, which relationship to pursue, or what to order for dinner… you could benefit from a boost of self trust.
In making decisions, I have found that one little question, when asked consistently, changes everything: is this choice coming from Love or Fear?
Some people prefer “Is this choice coming from Passion or Fear?” Either version will work.
If you ask yourself this question every time you are in indecision, and consistently choose love and passion over fear, you will grow in self trust, and watch ideal opportunities flow. Let me share some examples.
Looking for “the love”
Staci is invited to attend an event with a friend. She is having a hard time deciding whether to go. She needs to look for “where is the love?” and “where is the fear?” She may love going to this event, but is afraid if she goes, she won’t be productive enough at home, or she’ll miss out on something else.
She may be afraid she won’t fit in at the party. She might really have something else she’d love to be doing, but have fear of missing the event – will I have another chance? Will my friend still like me?
Trusting your passion zone
Jane is applying for jobs. Even though she has a clear picture of the type of job she would love to be in, she continues to apply for those outside of her ideal vision of what she loves. Every time she does that, she is making the statement that she does not trust herself to acquire the job she really wants. She diverts her energy, and may easily miss the opportunity for the passion-based job while she is busy interviewing for something else.
If Jane used the One Question in deciding whether to apply, she would skip over anything that wasn’t in her passion zone, because she would know that choice would be honoring her fear. Period, without exception.
Getting rid of fear in relationships
Sam is dating and wants to find a lifelong mate. Yet as each relationship progresses, she finds a problem with the other person and quickly lets the relationship go. This choice could be coming from love, loving that other person enough to let them find a more appropriate mate, but it could also be coming from fear. The fear could be of getting too close and risking loss and hurt or the fear may come from not wanting to make a “wrong” choice, therefore simply not choosing. Sam will never find an appropriate mate if she is making decisions from fear. (Note, many people select and stay with inappropriate partners out fear!)
Remaining grounded in your passion
Jennifer is thinking about launching a business. She shares her idea with a few friends and family members. They express their well-intentioned concerns about her ability to provide for herself, and the statistics on businesses that fail. They let her know “I think that’s already been done” and tell her that she better talk to Uncle John about how hard it is to run a business before she takes any action.
Now, this may make you mad at Jennifer’s family for being so skeptical, but Jennifer’s family would not be bringing up these concerns if they did not already exist within Jennifer. Subconsciously, she chose to ask the exact people who would remind her of her fears so she could stay stuck. When she is grounded in her passion, this will no longer occur.
Now, go make some decisions!